Behind the bride's veil - III

'You don't fancy coffee outside. Right?' He read me.
I kept to the menu card instead, mindlessly flipping pages back and forth. The Cafe Square was something I'd visit plausibly every weekend. But on that day, I had no clue what they served. I dreaded that place and that moment.

'It's either now or never', I prepped myself.
'Look Ram. I want to get this straight. The reason I'm here is because mum and dad think this will work. And I feel obligated to respect their efforts into making this work. We have the highest regard for your parents and that's exactly why I agreed to meet you. But I've got to tell you something, and the sooner I take it off my head, the better it's going to be for you, me, this apparent relationship and ...', I rattled on like a fretful newsreader taking her very first audition.

'Evening. Welcome to The Square, may I take your order?'
Great. Can't the waiter just wait.
'Nothing for me, thank you', I snapped.
'I'm sorry ma'am?'
Ram smiled affably.
'Give us 5 minutes please?' He nodded at the waiter.
'Sure, have a great time sir. Enjoy your evening', he walked away.

'You were saying something', He smiled.
And I lost my chain of thought. My head dropped in unison with my heart and mind. My eyes clouded up with tears and frustration. I couldn't phrase myself, I was in despair. I didn't know where to begin, how to end. 
'I love Aditya', I let go. Tears came trickling down my eyes, breaking free from bondage.
They knew no etiquette or social grace.
'I love Aditya', I repeated, accented in an attempt to make it explicit to him. Those words comforted me.
There was silence.
I was lost in trying to brake my thoughts and tears. But they were unrestrained. They refused to let go of this new found freedom. Freedom to express. Freedom to weep and regret.
I looked up at Ram.
I was confused, he was composed.
I couldn't get my eyes to face him; he didn't take his eyes of me.
He spoke.
'What?', I asked to make sure I heard him right. And I realized I did.
'Do you still love him?' He asked, again.

I was incensed. I wasn't primed for question like that. And this man suddenly assumed the status of a counselor, trying to rid me of my emotional baggage and memories.
However, I couldn't answer him. The events over the last year definitely didn't favour I-still-love-him.
I would be lying if I said yes.
I could never forgive myself if I said otherwise. 2000 miles from my city, I know someone who understands this answer and the gravity of a no for an answer.
I stood up, 'I'm leaving'.

We were driving back in the car. It would've been too dramatic if I chose to go home alone. With family, Tanya and Varun and the new potential additions to family, I didn't want to hyperbole things.
We were quiet in the car. Something told me Ram was sensible enough to call this off after having heard my story.
I was expectant of the NO. 
I'd given that to someone myself, just a few months back.

'Soo... Ahem huh?' Tanya cleared her throat, smirked and mocked all at once. She was gorging on the sweets that were around. Varun stood by her side being an incapable boyfriend of telling his love to check her count on sweets.
'You both were away for like over 4 hours! We all thought you're gonna come back married', she snickered.
'Shut up T, I think I've made it clear to him', I justified.
'I told him about Aditya and the rest. We spoke. I spoke a lot. He knows everything about us now. I must say he was patient though.'
'You think this douche would've dealt it smartly love?', she asked Varun and swallowed the roshogulla.
Varun smiled. 'Awww', he hugged me.
'Still such a douche', she laughed.
'Eat your sweet you daft head. I'll fix you after they leave'.

We were all seated in our drawing room. It snugly accommodated everything and everyone, the people, noise and the food. Both parents bonded well, they'd known each other from before and this relationship was something they definitely cheered.
I sat next to mum, Ram smiled at me. I smiled back, I felt good and light. But I had a parallel running in mind, mum and dad's disappointment. I was prepared to do whatever it takes to call this off.
Every age group had something to talk about and express opinion. Silk sarees, the weather, inflation, the Malaysian Airlines and ... the impending wedding.
Hey, we have 2 people who just went out. We should be asking them if they like each other, it dawned.
His people all turned to him; my people looked at me, and then turned to him.

'Well, Vandhana and I went out to a coffee shop. We spoke. A. Lot. She loves to talk', he smiled.
'Oh tell us something new about this dolt, Ram', Tanya jammed in. Everyone laughed.
I looked at her agape. 'What?', she demanded.
'We have completely different choices and we're very different as individuals. I can live on machine coffee while she detests anything other than Appa-made-filter-kaapi'.
Everyone cracked up and laughed again. I smiled too, knowing it's on the right course. I also liked the way he eased this for me. Mum and dad smiled but the thread of pressure in them was a little evident.
'Our approach to life, people, situations... they're really offbeat. She's met some very interesting people in the past at INSEAD, she was telling me about it. Looks like they've made a profound statement in her life. It's hard to let go of them. I understand'
By now, dad's face grew straight. The smile vanished and he had found out. He looked at me and sighed. 'I knew you'd do this', I felt him think.

'It's always the people you hold close that are so dear yet so far. Life and its journeys, I tell you', He paused.
He looked at me. 
'I'd love to share my journey with her and be a part of hers. Well from my...', he looked at his family.
'...from our side, we're happy to welcome her home', He proclaimed.
The hall was frenzy. It was like India had won an Olympic Medal, an Oscar, the World Cup and a war then.
Everyone was celebrating while I was trounced, battling the situation.
Varun and Tanya looked at me. She walked over to me and whooped, 'Idiot, you lied to us!'
'WHAT IS HAPPENING?', I cried to her.
'Who cares, happiness is happening', she hugged me.
Dad and mum hugged me, I reciprocated none. It hadn't sunk into me and I vetoed to understand.

I looked at Ram but He wasn't looking.
I left the hall to my room. I was emotionless, just a block of dejection and disorientation.
In a while, T called me to see them off. I was still troubled. I couldn't move, she helped me be up. She didn't talk anything. She was too busy happily chatting away with Varun. 

And there He was, Ram, talking to my cousins cheerfully. They loved him.
Seeing me come, the others around dispersed like obedient kids dispersing from the ground after an assembly. They got busy discussing I don't know what.
His mum and dad and the others proceeded to the door. They were leaving.

I walked up to Ram. He saw me. 
He still had the smile on his face. The smile Aditya had when he saw me first at his place. 
'And what makes you think this will work!', I asked angrily.
'The two of us. We make it work', He said.
'Raaaaam, you don't understand. Have you any idea how difficult it is for me to accept another man in my life. I don't get what you're trying to prove...'
'I love you', He asserted. He smiled, like Aditya, and melted into thin air.